Should somethings happen and somethings not???

wad a day... woke up at 6am jus to make breakfast for my sisters... -__-"

sometimes i was jus wondering if somethings should happen or should not happen... wad u think?? maybe it is called selfish.. maybe it is called jealous.. but jus... i feel tt really somethings should and should not happen... if i were a frog in a well i'll rather stay tt way... i have everything i need within my reach... i dun have complicated problems to think abt.. jus study and study... with frens around.. tts all i wan... nothing else..

but humans are jus a living creature.. as a life of it's own.. have feelings..(tts the worse part)... which i practically wish tt it dun even exist... and if so.. i'll live a life free of trouble... since ancient times... war begins becoz of the word feeling.. can i jus forgo everything and rest in peace?? for jus even a day?? haiz...

tt is something tt's not possible... if it is possible.. the world will jus stop for a day... would it?? jumping down a building and thus jumping into hell... or the netherworld... if tt could happen.. i'll never do it.. coz i dun wan to live an afterlife so miserable looking upon the mortal world and c each other fighting.. c each of my frens deal with the unpredictable fate... profound as it seems... fate is nothing but jus a complex structure... comprise of everyone and anothers' feelings.. making out a world... if the feelings jus go i'll live happily ever after...

but u think is possible?? i jus wonder... if i were to get drunk.. will i feel out of this world and make a nasty remark of every single thing in my 17 years of life... if tt day ever happened... i hope tt not a single one is beside me... listening to it...

if the world is such a beautiful place.. y dun i c the beauty but its ugly sight... pollution... stupid low eq ppl... stressful beings... argh... life is so sad... wad we c is not always nice.. but ugly.. not good but evil... not kind but cruel.. Y.. YY..

sometimesi think i begin to hate myself... argh....

The Purity of Music