When i blog?

u noe wad.. today... kind of suppose to say its a very bad day really...

1st can wake up so early... and call ppl not to be late.. but.. i forgot to get my lab coat... WTH... 10% gone?? i dunnoe... thanx to someone..if not i die there... haiz.. owe him one... -.- ya all the smell... lolx.. ok la.. not too bad..

2nd maybe should not have ate herbal chicken... y after tt i'm so freaking tired... slept from 11.30pm to abt 1.30pm... :X on off sleeping of coz... sleep till i'm drewing... -.- haiz... so un-glam...

3rd... this one i really must say lots of sorry.. sorry and sorry... made u wait so long... and made u so angry... haiz.. felt really terrible... =( i think i should not have went else where... haiz... and i think i should have cabbed down... :X haiz.. all i can do is to say sorry... :S i hope i can keep up to my promise...

well... i dunnoe today's one of the worse days ever.. u can be so happy... and u can also be so down rite sad in a day... and there goes my labtest.. haiz.. so sad now... :( i think my nails are very long already... must go cut...

haiz... wad a terrible day this is.. :(

The Purity of Music

Many things...

been passing through my mind... i seriously think it doesn't pay to be filial, does it?

jus i'm very tired of all this... i need to breakaway from this life i have... find my own world i guess... away from everything... i'm getting so tired of this life now...

if one day i decided to jump how... seriously... i'm like living in an empty shell...

hope i wish i'm rich... i think wad my fren say is true... when u are rich u'llnot get bullied...

it is like everything i do now is wrong... nothing is rite... with exams abt 2 weeks away... i'm having such a down period of my life... i'm so sad...

i wish to jus forget everything throw everything one side... have a good holiday... forget tt i even existed...

everything in life jus crumble down like an uno stacko... as u go higher... the holes at the bottom appears to be increasing.. till a point in life when the bottom of the tower cannot suppose the top... everything comes straight down with a loud crash...

overwhelmed by stress... i dunnoe... or isit an overdued outburst?

seriously... if i were to disappear from this world hu will even notice?? no one... to my frens jus another missing person to laugh at... to the lecturers one less student to teach... to my neighbours cannot park their cars in their lot for few days... to my family it is such a chore to do such things...

sometimes i really hope i can turn back time... turn and turn... till a point where i everything ever started... then it would be when i'm primary sch... i'm thinking too much... maybe...

The Purity of Music

Mood Test

You are striving to make favourable impressions all of the time and you are going out of your way to make the impression that you are something special. You are constantly on the watch to see how your friends and neighbours are reacting to your various ploys. But this is so unnecessary because most of the time you are in control of the situation - and you are, in the nicest sense of the word, a 'manipulator' because you use various strategies very cleverly in order to influence and obtain the necessary recognition.

You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.

You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realise these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

The Purity of Music

nose bleed

veyr bad.. 2 days already.. haiz.. now feeling very light headed.. izit not enough blood?? :X

so if i ever die... i have to write my will...

first of all... the sch's oboe have to bury with me.. whahaa... -.- so some ppl no chance to play it.. wahhaa...

2nd... all my clothes will be put up for auction...

3rd... the money i have will be split equally.. to everyone i noe.. so i think in the end.. is 10 cents each...

4th.. below the 5th door of my cupboard got a treasure tt will be given to someone special...

5th... it is never going to end... wadever not stated here.. it is up for grab when i'm gone...

(pls note it is jus a joke... i'll make sure i dun die so early... i still have got a lot of things not done... something impt too... like my PBL.. :X wahhaa..)

The Purity of Music

-.-

how long of not blogging again.. :S

anyway many things happened this past week... been kind of busy.. but still get some time out for some company to WM after lessons... went for band... town meet frens back to sch for OH duty... and of coz not forgetting a birthday bash for this great fren of mine... he had lots of fun... of coz not forgetting my shared b day present for him.. :X sounds bad abt the share.. :X then the sharing person also never sign on the card lor... haiz... felt so bad.. :X

anyway been busy with my reports project presentation company choosing... online quizes... i faired so badly.. OMG... haiz.. fail leh.. i cannot believe it.. gosh!!!

everyday somethings someone somehow jus make my day... i dunnoe y really... how come like tt i also dunnoe... can someone explain these things to me?? i doubt really...

i think i should not pin high hopes on somethings to happen coz if u put so high hopes then later never reach ar.. very sad lor.. so lower my hope wish and expectations bah... i guess... tts wad i've been doing these times... and yup no expected high allowance for my attachment...

sometimes somethings happened becoz there are more advantages that u dun c it be4 it happens actually...

i dunnoe wad i'm toking abt... there are so many small things happening around me.. i dunnoe how to react actually... sometimes wanna ask somethings also dunnoe how to do it... my social skills like going down again... but sometimes is gotta think of the consequences after it is done... really...

anyway jus now jus went for a great concert!!! OMG... if i can play tt well.. and if i can play tt well and in such a good band.. gosh... totally... PERFECT!!!

how more perfect can one's life be when wad u expect is wad u get... but again... u need to workhard to achieve it... be it successful lawyer, successful chem engger or even musician... all boils down to hard work... when u are not smart enough and u need tt extra bit of knowledge, brains... it comes to hard work as a safety net to make u seems smart and talented...

sometimes i feel tt i disturb ppl a lot. esp when i love to chat with ppl... and only selective ppl i think... i dunnoe... coz i normall chat with a few ppl only.. or rather they are bothered to bother abt me... so sad rite... i dunnoe really... lots been going through...

anyway i was so freaking sick since wednesday evening.. but at least now it is better... expected this to come since last friday... coz i wasn't already feeling rite last friday... been sleeping everywhere i went ma.. so unusual of me.. so yup.. now is totally down... gotta rest...

i hope to go out soon... to do things i like... things i wan... away from stress... and lots of fun... but it will never happen soon.. :(

actually i'm still hoping for something tt i think i should not pin so high hopes on... :S wad m i toking abt? :X

The Purity of Music

OMG....

Many things happened... too long a story too short a time.. summary...

seriously i dun even remember when's the last time i blogged.. i think it is very long time ago rite?

monday went for some cca practice.. but not my ccas.. lolx.. cool.. then went home early... tuesday slacked.. last min they say got some talk.. irritating.. spent my time there listening to some crap... ok and also a bt not crap.. so hu cares.. ya next tuesday is the time to determine.. where should i head to... :S

wednesday.. went to the band room after lesson and went home after sometime... tired... went to meet my younger sister for dinner with her frens.. had a lot of craps.. lolx...

thursday went to sch late coz it is suppose to start at 1.. in the end.. reach there abit later than expected.. but still ok la.. some had their interview.. seems tt theirs is a lot better than mine.. dotz... anyway thursday was the day i got so much sleep.. gosh... first time... lolx.. then had band practice... but be4 tt went to eat dinner and played 1 round of pool... after tt went for break again.. coz pull fren to eat his dinner... played kind of well i guess.. but again not so well... but still ok la... still need lots of improvements... then after tt went off lor.. suppose to go home but in the end went to eat supper.. X: so fattening.. gosh.. then home on a longer route i think.. but still not too bad la.. got company home wad... called a few ppl. as usual... then sleep...

friday could not get up on time.. test at 9.. in the end got there at 9.20 plus.. the test end at 9.50 la.. gosh.. so like tt lor.. haiz.. dunnoe la.. anyhow lor.. :S and i slept the whole day la... from ppl eating to ppl toking to ppl listening to lecture to going out back to sch and home... at teh bus stop also sleep... OMG... in the end took a cab home.. coz too late... no more bus already.. -.- and after some time sleep...

and today... cool day... woke up and on off sleeping.. and sent my frens their results etc.. for lab then some ppl irritate me la.. mobile me so many times. i'll charge hu ever hu mobile me next time.. idiots lor.. like i owe u something like tt... irritating... i cannot even help myself and u wan me to help u u gotta be joking man...

anyway woke really woke up at 1 plus close to 2 lor.. then went out for breakfast... but it is lunch la... or even considered high tea at 3.. -.- home at 5.. and now here... working at some things tt's so difficult to solve.. argh!!! irritated... no comments...

i need an outlet... to vent all the fustrations... y so.. i dunnoe... jus these days i always feel like my spirit is floating out of my body... i dunnoe y... even now typing also like tt... like it is u commanding ur fingers to move.. but the touch on the keyboard is like so not ur own fingers touching th ekeyboard.. OMG... wad's happening...

anyway.... many other things happened... gotta thank those hu cared abt me... and most imptly.. ppl hu always tok to me.. coz now i need to tok more... and also... i'm the treasurer after the AGM... gosh... y $$$ y... i very scared of such stuff la.. later become me loosing all the $$$ myself lor... die le la... but hope it goes well...ILU, i think u noe hu u are.. :X

The Purity of Music

Gosh

how manys days have not been blogging i dunnoe actually.. but u noe wad... y is everything so messy??? -.- i realy mean veyr messy lor.. haiz.. some times.. dunnoe leh... i've been trying to slack as much as i can.. :X ya i really mean slack... be4 all the rush starts to come again...

now my face is so so so bad... one big pimple.. gosh... i think i should sleep early... and sometimes jus not possible to sleep early... yawn~~

sleeping time actually... nothing much been staying at home the pass few days lor.. haiz.. i hate to deal with $$$ can some one do it for me? y is my $$$ depleting so fast? :S

my aims and goals.. remember them?? i hope i do.. :X

haiz.. my wish and hope for a flawless face is gone become of this big pimple... haiz.. sian..

ar... y y y.... sian.. so many things to do so little time and i'm slacking.. X: and y so many ppl all come at one time? :S

The Purity of Music

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

opps.. i'm so late in wishing now.. time lag.. :X well been busy tts y.... 1 and 2nd so busy with hse stuff... 3 4 5 sch...

3rd slept at 2am and woke up at 5.20am and the 3 hr plus sleep lasted me till abt 1 to 2 am.. gosh.. :X but anyway... i was at MS in the afternoon after lessons... walked city link first.. then went to suntec and then MS. saw my fren lolx.. ate at breeks... OMG.. so fattening can.. butter.. :X o my... i need to loose some pounds man.. :X i'm like getting heavier.. so it jus shows one thing.. no exercise and eat too much!!! :X no tt cannot happen... ok then after dinner went to raffles city shopping centre... lolx.. yup.. be4 we noe it we are like hmmm walked almost all the shopping areas there are in the area... so yup... the dradful part.. gotta bid farewell... the 2 girls seems busy... i'm kind of busy.. and we dun have much time got my other fren going to army on 12th jan.. :S this is hmmm bad... lolx...

ok... 4th went to for an "interview" and u noe wad it wasn't an interview at all.. so stupid... i felt cheated.. but ok la... they are the one in a mess... so yup lets jus c how.. :X but toured the area... haiz.. lab coat everyday... c chemicals everyday... so quiet... and seems to be very boring.. :S this is bad.. but provided i can get over the interview then say lor... after tt went home change relax and off to sch... late by a little too many minutes... but still ok la.. miss a bit of the lesson... but still ok lor.. then the next lecture i was practically sleeping in the lecture.. OMG.. for 1 hr.. the other 1 hr so like dazing.. X: OMG.. haiz... i seriously have got to question myself wad have i learnt... then so happy coz got frens going for band practice... lolx.. :D so funny... and today played so horribly but also the band is horribly imbalance... nvm.. spare u the details.. and the other the oboe here.. new one... so many impt keys missing.. like the low c alternative key.. the double G# key... how u expect me to play well if i need to trill those notes.. and u noe wad.. the oboe was degraded jus for other needs... so selfish of them... opps said too much... went home chat a bit sleep...

friday.. 5th stressful day... regret flagging a cab to sch.. cost me 6 bucks... gosh... and when i reach there... so many ppl not around and the teacher is like still briefing la.. dotz... so well the whole day's lab like tt... execpt for the lecture.. played stupid games... then so soft la.. jus to prevent me from getting to high.. X: lolx.. ok... then ya lor... some ppl jus threw temper.. for wadever reason... i have got nothing to say... but later dun trust my preparation.. so dun care already la.. jus let her do it... being irritated lor.. then always like to push me out of the lift.. -.- nvm... then went to eat dinner.. suppose to go home in the end dragged to cca.. :X then went to mac to eat... ok i gotta say knowing perfectly well tt i'm so fat now i'm still drinking milkshake.. X: gosh... nvm la.. reach home so late.. haiz... like tt lor.. suppose to have an appointment... :X but in the end.. dunnoe lor.. so many things happened... in jus the 3 short days of the start of the year... tt 3 4 5... haiz.. i needa save lots of $$$ already.. i've got no $$$ haiz.. this is bad really..

so confusing... so many things happening... and my results are falling.. time to start studying... :X when everyone else is getting 100 - 95... i'm getting 70+ 80 dotz.. :( i'm so sad now.. haiz... my inablilty to do well jus cause much sadness...

well belated Happy New Year...

The Purity of Music