Happier New Year...

ar.. dun worry... :) at least now i noe got ppl worry.. :D loxl.. i'm not as transparent as water afterall.. :X

o well... one thing... tt post should not be up btw.. so decided to edit.. X: lolx.. those hu read good no too bad.. :)

o well.. gotta get lots of things in action... now i jus feel like i'm counting the days... but soon will be the days counting me... :S nvm..

somehow music jus cannot get out of my life... yup.. its gonna be this way... and then i think i'll be more sporty if possible.. wanna get a bit tan... last time so freaking tan now... white like ghost... so must tan a bit.. :X of coz exercise and yup... u guess it.... slim down summore... coz i felt it is not enough.. :X

i dunnoe how to go abt doing some things actually... confusing... plus one more thing... i wanna change my life... but i'm restricted by family values.. :X so how now?? i really dunnoe... the restricted part is wad i feel la.. i dunnoe... wad's more i'm a very low self esteem person... so now.. first thing first... get those pimps out of my face... i wan a flawless face... give me 2 mths..i hope in this 2 mths can get things a lot better... really... hope and pray...

ok so since attachment is coming... i'll be freaking busy... haiz... gotta be back in school almost everyday... but i feel very restricted in having such routine... so i need to do some variations... :X but again.. i'm thinking again and again... how should things go abt...

i wan to do this i wan to do tt... i wan to do so many things... but my time dun allow me to have everything i wanna do... -.- =( how how... i dunnoe actually...

wad's more i must achieve something i wanna achieve in 6 mths time...and yes this 6 mths is very impt... but again i have doubts if i can even achieve it... dun ask me... u observe urself...

haiz...

Labels: Rant

The Purity of Music

Happy New Year???

it's not so happy afterall... as expected... he never get his facts rite... he is so nothing to say... forget it... toking to him only make me puke blood.. toking to him only makes me irritated... toking to him is like u wanna take my life away... and more imptly... makes me hate CNY...

haven been blogging... busy.. after the last paper.. which i'm bound to fail.. calculated the total confirm fail already... then was BBQ... drank a bit.. not a lot though... ppl say i look weird.. well i dunnoe if it is weird in a good sense or a bad one... then was busy busy busy helping out at home cleaning etc...

and yesterday which is the first day of CNY... nothing much up late out late back home early... but slept late... so freaking irritated... *BEEP*

Labels: Rant

The Purity of Music

Biopro and Eltech

y i did not blog long story actually... coz first.. yesterday paper ended late.. and i reach home late.. and today's paper is early morning.. so need to sleep early so no blog yesterday.. simple..

ar... yesterday's a nice day... went to sch study.. realy super worried.. coz like everything also dunnoe.. haiz.. really.. dunnoe wad to say.. then exam paper.. was ok la.. not tt bad... can pass... with the tips given... should be everyone scoring good grades.. and so hu will be the winner.. and it can never be me... coz i did lots of mistakes already.. checked.. :(

then after tt went to borrow this abt 10+ in fact it is abt 13cm thick book... perry's handbook.. coz of my great sister.. -.- then was reading this book in lifestyle section of np's library.. abt spa... Ooo.. and i can make my own cleanser.. but dun have the capital to. so forget it.. but at least got a bit of tips.. and u noe wad.. there is this book on men's health.. so went to look see look see and gosh... erm.. one super thick book abt 5cm thick lor.. teach u everything.. and u noe wad.. it includes... sex... -.- and even diagrams to show the organs etc... ok nvm.. then there are also like tips on body maintanence... did not read la obvious... jus flip through the book.. too many words... brain cannot take it.. =X

went to where IMM... y for dinner but be4 tt have to find cake and present... for my dear mum... the cake and present cost a total of 60 plus budget la... coz everyone no money already.. and it includes me.. :( so sad... haiz... so ya.. i paid for everything... jus now waiting for the money to come back... =S yup... had a great time.. and practically making a fool of myself... gosh.. for wadever reason...

then had dinner.. egg egg and egg.. i'm so scared of it now... as in i've been eating too many egg stuff these days... later arteries clot how.. cannot must go exercise already... haiz... not tml.. so day after tml lor.. plus CNY coming.. = eat more and eat more... friday and sat is exercising time.. maybe sunday too.. lolx..

when to my god ma's place after tt... gosh.. u dun wanna noe... they say a while in the end it is 1 hr... so abt 11.40 then reach home la.. u c.. haiz.. called a few ppl.. tt i need to call then off to bed... haiz.. without music.. no choice.. i need more brains for the eltech paper.. haiz..

and morning i could not wake up on time... haiz.. sian totally.. but at least i still reach sch at abt 8 to revise a bit... mess everything up be4 i went for the paper.. and ya i think die le lor.. everything wrong.. haiz.. sad case... or rather those easy questions all wrong la.. wth.. nvm... been giving chocolate to my classmates and all... ya nothing much la.. coz it is a once a year event to give my frens chocolate on V day.. lolx.. and after tt went to eat lunch already planning for CNY u c.. exam haven finish already planning already.. haiz...

walk in jp for a long time... and went for a hair cut... dunnoe leh.. still think my hair a bit long.. :X gosh... nvm... better than nothing... guess next mth go again lor... coz i was thinking of dye-ing my hair... highlighting... and u noe how much it cost?? 139.90... includes cut.. haiz.. so ex.. so $$$ lor.. so decided to jus cut first... got $$$ then say liao.. haiz... sad leh.. =( then walk around.. cannot dun spend $$$ and when i already so broke..haiz.. nvm la... wad to do... met my fren return me $$$ then walk around to look for present... -.- of coz not for me.. so sad lor.. V day no one ask me out.. haiz.. anyway i also got no time.. X: lolx..

then ya came home lor.. so tired.. and u noe wad i haven even studied for my paper tml.. lots to study really.. haiz.. and i haven even started... this is wad i seriously call... DIE!!! ok bore u with my lame entry again.... but ya... sad leh.. :( haiz... but like tt lor.. tml busy again.. after paper.. is BBQ... opps.. lolx.. so many things to do... haiz.. sad la... this sem'sresults will be totally LIKE SHIT!!! haiz... expected it to be.. really...

anyway to those out there.. Happy V Day!!!

Labels: Rant

The Purity of Music

TPFF

notice these few post will tend to be like... abt my papers.. :X today's paper as the title say TPFF... thought it will be easy.. but in the end... i got killed so horribly.. seriously... it drain me out totally... my brains cannot function normally after tt... did so many careless mistakes... and i think all my answers are wrong... really.. this one i cannot say anything liao... now die de lor...

i really dunnoe wad to say... very sad... anyway... i'm like still thinking how m i going to study... tml evening celebrate my mum's b day... going straight after my paper... and then... wed my paper in the morning.. how to study?? argh... irritated really.. and first morning my mum kind of piss me off... u tell me... u wan me to get good grades... and now u say everyone also dun wanna help out in doing hsework... and wad u wan me to do?? i also need to study rite.. and u go get another helper la... replace me... i cannot be studying and helping u at the same time lor.... jus think of it make me so piss... argh...

next... sad leh... v day no one ask me out.. haiz... use to it... for the pass 17 years never celebrate v day de lor... haiz... sometimes i jus get so jealous.. but again.. i dunnoe y i'm jealous.. haiz... so u tell me m i so weird? -.-

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Maths

killed... tts all i can say... totally... nvm... hate to say this... but really... lots of mistakes... sometimes i jus think i should have spent more time on other things...

anyway... izit becoz i'm shifting my functioning brain around?? from left to rite or was is rite to left?? wadever.. but jus... haiz... it jus shows one thing... my wish of being a whole brainer... is gone... really... personal aim not met...

more to come.. and u noe wad... i think all will also die... coz they are all maths kind of paper... so wad u expect? kanna killed again lor...

today slacked the whole day.. at my aunt's place.. opps... bask under the sun for 5 minutes... and off to play pool.. the pool not tt pool... nvm... won a few rounds... play some games and chat with my aunt.. ya went off late.. like 8pm.. reach home 1.25 hrs later.. so ya lor..

gulity conscious... opps.. haiz... i really need to relax.. anyway come home and guess wad... got scolded.. so haiz.. nvm... usual...

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Exams...

ok now's the start of the first paper... gosh... very stress... later heart attack how... pray...

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tappingtapping

i guess it is time to tap into the unknown part of my brain... jus for once... i seek the higher powers for one thing... jus one thing.. and tt thing is... more brain power tt comes with more concentration too.. not forgetting intelligence... i seriously need tt now...

can someone teach me how to be exam smart?? i think i'm now like studying everything... coz i did not listen to the lecturer when he/she say this is not impt or it would not be in exam.. gosh.. help me.. someone...

and last... with much to be done.. u noe wad i did none.. how productive can my time be... somehow.. i think i need to relax more than ever... :X unwind and of coz unwind in sense.. not no sense kind of unwind.. like study in a more relaxed environment... i think it really helps.. no stress tts impt.. more water... and of coz... most imptly... comfort... tts air con.. :X too warm and my brains jus dun work... at least today's a happier day.. X:

i still hope and wish...

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wheni'msadnfeelikecryingnobodynoesy..

seriously... damn sad... haiz.. i dunnoe... now i think i only have a blog with me tt i can past my days with... and u noe wad... YES... u dunnoe... nvm... haiz...

i'm just getting too emo i guess... but how to control ur mood and emo at such a time i really dunnoe... there are so many ys and they are unanswered.. and jus sometimes i kind of think i'm an irritant... really.. wad should i do i dunnoe... or i noe but i chose not to?

can someone jus take the exam for me... sometimes i wish time is faster and some times i wish it is slower... but now i wish it jus stop and let me study... or i think stop time and let me chill...

The Purity of Music

Sad

first... i really wanna say... when i really need help none of my frens noe tt i need help... even i ask they are like u sure... u dunnoe.. then they like think i noe everything... but in fact.. i dun... just look at my results it is falling like waterfall... and when i ask for help hu's there to help?? they think i'm lying.. but in fact i'm not hu dun care abt their grades? though i may be irritating at times.. but for studies... when i dunnoe i'll jus ask so maybe i accidentially irritated someone.. i dunnoe...

2nd... i really wanna say... i'm really very sad... somethings like u dunnoe how to open ur mouth to ask or even tok abt... dun u have such experiences? but again... if u dunnoe how to put it... u never noe the ans... wad's more... there are more to understanding a person's mood and thinking than jus plain words itself rite??

3rd... i really wanna say... i feel like i'm a failure... nothing is going well... i jus dun have wad it takes... i dun have wad it takes to be good... i dun have wad it takes to excel.. i dun have wad it takes to be wad i wan to be... i haven achieve anything i set to achieve... when will tt day ever come... when i work so hard... and working even harder but i jus dun get it... blame it on luck... or jus blame myself for being so stupid... for only a stupid fool like me noes nothing... i'm stuck... very stuck... stuck between a left and a rite brainer.. haiz... help is wad i need... jus admit it.. i'm stupid... useless and not of any worth...

wadever it is.. i'll still strive and achieve wad i wanna achieve... when the world is abt money studies and planning... u gotta be an edge over the world...

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Haiz...

Stress... so much things to cover.. in a week... first hse work.. till now haven done any...:S then i have got exams to lookout for... 5 papers... and i'm seriously going to die... haiz...

reason... i dunnoe anything at all... and i got no drive to start studying... OMG... i cannot believe this... i need to get into a uni de u noe... argh.... i've been telling myself tt....

last day of sch be4 we all go different ways for a nice 7 mths around there... which = bad.. cannot c frens so often liao lor.. haiz... well... last day of sch and i got pissed by my fren... ok 2 frens in fact... or rather.. do i consider them frens? i dunnoe... dun bother... having a date on valentine's day or not is not ur concern... and moreover dun anyhow guess and when i did not agree dun anyhow say... idiotic...

o well nothing much... i found out one thing... next time i must be super rich and i must be.. if not.. i'll die... :X i cannot survive... gosh... this is bad... nod nod... when i m like not studying now... like studying is so freaking impt and i'm not doing it.. i need to study study study... argh...

felt very happy btw... ok kind of.. things are a bit better now... :) ok la.. i need to study RENG TPFF Maths ELTECH BioPro and the most difficult of all is RENG... and followed by... ELTECH... but one thing for sure... maths's a killer... there goes my A i tell u.. haiz.. i really very sad... this cannot be happening.. maths leh... last leap...

my sis lost her precious phone... haiz... felt sad for her.. and i cannot help in any way... not financially too.. coz i'm so broke... and i still needa get my $$$ back!!! argh

The Purity of Music