I had enough

i officially cannot stand it anymore. So many things happening around me! i cannot take it emotions running all over! argh! i need to compose myself in front of everyone. Ppl say till i'm such a slut! F*** Do i even look like one! wth!

well tis CNY is ok to me nothing special. coz i haven even got my hair cut, my new year's clothes? haiz. a CNY tt's like jus another day i see my relatives and visiting and all. nothing special at all. so much so tt i slept so much tdy. send ppl off at the airport. haiz. sad. there goes another fren.

i guess i'll be quiet for the next mths be4 i go NS after exams. i need to do some reforming. change on all aspects of myself. i'm not getting anywhere i guess. so much for being sociable. wad a joke!

So close! but i failed. :'( i failed in everything i wanna achieve. i've gained nothing out of all these days and years.

lets jus put one side tt i say i need to change. i guess it is an attitude tt i cannot change. it depends on how well u can understand me. nvm. no one does anyway.

I'm just tt lonely child! hu's always idiotic irritating bimbo-tic stupid fat ugly auntie-fied child tt nobody wants. i dunnoe wad this feeling is. i cannot comprehen this feeling myself. pls enlighten me then. wad's the best word for this emotion tt's running through? to me it is jus depression period, sad and all other negative feelings plus one more love-fall-out? F*** it.

i need to learn to treasure myself more. since others have this stupid thought of theirs and they jus judge ppl like tt. well i'll drink till i'm drank, dance till i fall, hopefully dead in 10 days after exams. how interesting of me to have such a thought. but seriously i should not have live in this planet in the first place. wad's the purpose of me here? pls dun tell me there's some god or divine-beings up there tt will guide u. it all comes in the heart. in our own hearts.

my heart's dying. dying horribly. if i jus part from this world, i'll wanna return as a free being see how everyone around me reacts. doubt there will be anything gd being said abt me.

The Purity of Music